These emails usually go into our junk email folders and are trashed and deleted without being read. Occaisionally, if there are no attachments and if they get through my virus program okay, I'll actually read one and even respond to it if I have nothing better to do.
My responses are always derogatory and sarcastic and yet very often I'll get further excited responses from these morons thinking they have really hooked a "Live one" this time!
Below is a sample of one of these letters I received. My responses are in red. Enjoy...
RE: PLEASE THIS IS PRIVATE TO YOU.
From: SHAWNA Bloom (shawnavalenz@msn.com)
Sent: Thu 6/25/09 9:58 PM
To: juliet.amanda12@yahoo.com
Hi Juliet Amanda. I am so happy to meet you. I have carefully considered your proposition and would love to have you scam me! Please send my $9,400,000.00 to my personal bank account and see my answers to your queries in RED! I anxiously await the transfer of your money to my bank account listed at the bottom of the page! Sincerely, Shareese De LaBriant
From: julietamanda@cantv.net
Subject: PLEASE THIS IS PRIVATE TO YOU.
Date: Thu, 25 Jun 2009 13:30:10 -0430
PLEASE THIS IS PRIVATE TO YOU. Considering you don't even know me, I'm so flattered that you sent me a "private email".miss Juliet Amanda. REPUBLIC OF COTE-D'IVOIRE Where the hell is that? Is that even a real place?Avenu 12 Rue 47 ABIDJAN.
God bless you, (Aren't you internet scammers usually Muslims?) In that case shouldn't it be "mohammed bless you or allah bless you"? (I intentionally do not capitalize these names as they are your god, not mine.) I am very sorry to bother you with my situation.
No you're not. You're hoping you have yet another stupid American on the line that you can scam out of their money. I prayed over it and selected your name as someone who is worthy of trust. Yes! Because we've obviously met (maybe in another life) and you know me sooooo well! My name is miss Juliet Amanda. Maybe you are aware that my country Cote d'ivoire was seriously attacked by rebels over some years now,and the rebels are right now occuping almost half of my country land mass. How tragic!! We have the same problem here, only we call them 'Democrats'!
During these events; much Actually, that would be "many", not "much" (I hope it does not offend you if I correct your poor English so that in the future your scams will be more believable by the stupid Americans you are trying to scam.)factories,magazines and houses were burnt (burned) and plundered by rioters and rebels. Our family was also affected, but it was our enemies who have (had) to use this great Opportunity to burn down our cocoa farm which (was) valued at thousand(s) of dollars.
My father was seriously attacked and shot but by God's grace i ("I" is always capitalized in the English language) was not present the moment they attacked my father. My mother died in 2002.
I am sorry for the death of your mother. Does she know you spend your time trying to scam Americans? Before the death of my father in the private hospital here in Abidjan.He revealed to me that he deposited a great sum of (9,400,000 millon US dollars) in a bank here in Abidjan in my name as his only child and next of kin. Oh My!! He had all this money and he made your poor mother and you live in such poverty all this time? What a moron! And he told me where he kept the papers concerning the deposit of the fund and ordered me seriously to seek for a foreigner out of the country which can assist me to withdraw the money out of the bank in order to continue a new life in abroad, I don't get it! Why does a foreigner have to help you to extract the sums? Could it be that no-one in your poverty stricken 3rd world country would actually be stupid enough to fall for your scam? because,I am his only child and he want(s) my life safe because i (That's "I", remember?) will be 18 years old this October. All i (I) need is for you to assist me (to)withdraw my money from the bank as my foreign trustee and to invest it in a good business in your Country. Even if this wasn't a scam, do you honestly think there is anyone here honest enough to take your $9,400,000.00 and invest it for you without stealing every penny of it? Please, by all means, let me be that American! Please, please, pretty-pretty please! After a careful thought i (I) have decided to give you a commission of 20% of the total sum (Now why would I settle for 20% when I can just keep your entire $9,400,000.00 and you would be none-the-wiser?) Come on.... I want at least 50%! to enable you cover up every of your effort Cover up every of my effort? Huh? Honey, I think it's you that need the "cover-up". and time during the process of the transaction.
May the Almighty God touch your heart and give you the courage to make a wise decision while i (I) am praying to hear from you soon. Keep praying honey. And remember the letter "I" is ALWAYS CAPITALIZED!!!
Yours sincerelyMiss Juliet Amandaplease contact me with my pravet Did you mean P-R-I-V-A-T-E? email, juliet.amanda12@yahoo.com
Well....duh....okay, here's my info! Please send my $9,400,000.00 PRONTO!
Name: Shareese De LaBriant
Address: 6969 Screwyu Lane Fuqinazovdawurld, NY, 10021
Phone #(744) 382-5968
Social Security #2403-23-89611
Bank Acct to deposit my $9,400,000.00 to: "El Banco De La Mierda"Margaritaville, NY 00130
Acct#: 853-1212-328-7448
Please HURRY!!! I want to use the money to run my campaign for President of the United States!
PLEASE PEOPLE!!! If you are going to scam Americans at least LEARN THE LANGUAGE!! I mean really, if I was going to scam someone in Nigeria, I'd learn Nigerian, or whatever f'd up language you all speak. Stop scamming Americans. We are a whole lot smarter than you are!
No comments:
Post a Comment