I've been threatening to write this book for decades now and I think the time is now right for this enlightening piece of literature to make it's appearance.
For twenty+ years I have complained about all the annoying things men do that we women tolerate. My mother did it and her mother before her. We all gripe and nag about all these "manhaviours" but what do we do other than that to possibly prevent the re-occurence of them? Really, not much but more nagging and griping.
Well now folks, those days are gone forever! I'm going to write a book about all the annoying habits of men and what we as women can do to either stop the annoying "manhaviours" or at the least, simple things we can do to make them more tolerable.
My first and BIGGEST Man-Peeve (wouldn't insult by beloved Akita by calling them "Pet-Peeves") is the fact that when men shower, you got it..... They invariably ALWAYS leave....
"PUBIES ON THE FACIAL BAR"!!! (eeeeew, can you say GROSS!?!)
Now, my current husband, he came already trained. He is very neat and clean by nature and wouldn't dream of leaving little nasties on my expensive "ladies soap".
However, my first husband, while a very clean and hygenic person had this one super irritating habit. Now you know, men like "Man Soaps"... Such aromatic and strong soaps like "Irish Spring", "Zest" & "Dial". Now for us ladies, these soaps are sometimes harsh and too drying for our sensitive skin. So, instead of using "their" 3/$1.00 bars of anti-B.O. disinfecting soap, we spend a little more money on ourselves and buy nice soaps designed for a ladies tender skin, but that often come with hefty price tags of up to $5.00 - $10.00 per bar for these luxury suds.
So imagine your horror when your in the shower and you are soaping yourself up with your expensive lady-soap and you go to wash your face. You gently rub the bar of silkiness against your cheeks and the rest of your face. Suddenly you gag.... There is something that has wormed it's way into your now frantically spitting mouth and you can't seem to get it spit out. It clings coyingly to your lips and dares you to expunge it from your mouth. You raise your hand to brush off the offending intruder and there on your hand is..... (GROSS).... A BLACK, WIRY PUBIC HAIR! Ewwwwwww.....GROSS..... that means, you guessed it, hubby has been washing his smelly crotch with your expensive ladies soap and didn't even have the decency to use a washcloth!!! Nooooo that would actually be the sanitary way to do it! Instead he grabs your $10.00 soap and goes to work slathering his wiry, black haired crotch with the bare bar!
Now, very angry, you get out of the shower and demand to know why he would abuse your expensive soap in such a manner!?! "But honey" he whines.... "It feels so much better than my soap does." (AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH) "Then why the HELL don't YOU buy this soap for yourself when you go to the store?" He then looks at you like you are the meanest, most selfish woman on the planet for not sharing your soap and replies... "I couldn't be seen puting "that" kind of soap in my basket, that's not a guy's soap!"
And people wonder why women divorce men so readily these days.
So, there is a simple solution, VERY SIMPLE.
It doesn't matter how luxurious the soap, how good it smells or how expensive it is, IF IT IS PINK YOUR HUSBAND WILL AVOID IT AT ALL COST! So ladies, rule #1 is ONLY BUY YOUR EXPENSIVE SOAP IN THE COLOR "PINK". Rule #2 is, go out and get one of those cheap plastic travel containers for soap. Keep your soap in that at all times. Men are basically lazy-bathers. If it's not handy and easy to access they aren't going to use it. They will grab what ever is available. If given the choice of your $10.00 beige luxury soap or their $.33 bar of Irish Spring laying there in plain sight, guess what ladies, your soap is getting "Pubed!" However if they have to actually work at opening a plastic container to access "PINK" luxury soap (we ALL know that men think the color "PINK" rubs off on anything exhibiting any signs of masculinity), well I guarantee you ladies, it ain't gonna happen! Problem solved!
For twenty+ years I have complained about all the annoying things men do that we women tolerate. My mother did it and her mother before her. We all gripe and nag about all these "manhaviours" but what do we do other than that to possibly prevent the re-occurence of them? Really, not much but more nagging and griping.
Well now folks, those days are gone forever! I'm going to write a book about all the annoying habits of men and what we as women can do to either stop the annoying "manhaviours" or at the least, simple things we can do to make them more tolerable.
My first and BIGGEST Man-Peeve (wouldn't insult by beloved Akita by calling them "Pet-Peeves") is the fact that when men shower, you got it..... They invariably ALWAYS leave....
"PUBIES ON THE FACIAL BAR"!!! (eeeeew, can you say GROSS!?!)
Now, my current husband, he came already trained. He is very neat and clean by nature and wouldn't dream of leaving little nasties on my expensive "ladies soap".
However, my first husband, while a very clean and hygenic person had this one super irritating habit. Now you know, men like "Man Soaps"... Such aromatic and strong soaps like "Irish Spring", "Zest" & "Dial". Now for us ladies, these soaps are sometimes harsh and too drying for our sensitive skin. So, instead of using "their" 3/$1.00 bars of anti-B.O. disinfecting soap, we spend a little more money on ourselves and buy nice soaps designed for a ladies tender skin, but that often come with hefty price tags of up to $5.00 - $10.00 per bar for these luxury suds.
So imagine your horror when your in the shower and you are soaping yourself up with your expensive lady-soap and you go to wash your face. You gently rub the bar of silkiness against your cheeks and the rest of your face. Suddenly you gag.... There is something that has wormed it's way into your now frantically spitting mouth and you can't seem to get it spit out. It clings coyingly to your lips and dares you to expunge it from your mouth. You raise your hand to brush off the offending intruder and there on your hand is..... (GROSS).... A BLACK, WIRY PUBIC HAIR! Ewwwwwww.....GROSS..... that means, you guessed it, hubby has been washing his smelly crotch with your expensive ladies soap and didn't even have the decency to use a washcloth!!! Nooooo that would actually be the sanitary way to do it! Instead he grabs your $10.00 soap and goes to work slathering his wiry, black haired crotch with the bare bar!
Now, very angry, you get out of the shower and demand to know why he would abuse your expensive soap in such a manner!?! "But honey" he whines.... "It feels so much better than my soap does." (AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH) "Then why the HELL don't YOU buy this soap for yourself when you go to the store?" He then looks at you like you are the meanest, most selfish woman on the planet for not sharing your soap and replies... "I couldn't be seen puting "that" kind of soap in my basket, that's not a guy's soap!"
And people wonder why women divorce men so readily these days.
So, there is a simple solution, VERY SIMPLE.
It doesn't matter how luxurious the soap, how good it smells or how expensive it is, IF IT IS PINK YOUR HUSBAND WILL AVOID IT AT ALL COST! So ladies, rule #1 is ONLY BUY YOUR EXPENSIVE SOAP IN THE COLOR "PINK". Rule #2 is, go out and get one of those cheap plastic travel containers for soap. Keep your soap in that at all times. Men are basically lazy-bathers. If it's not handy and easy to access they aren't going to use it. They will grab what ever is available. If given the choice of your $10.00 beige luxury soap or their $.33 bar of Irish Spring laying there in plain sight, guess what ladies, your soap is getting "Pubed!" However if they have to actually work at opening a plastic container to access "PINK" luxury soap (we ALL know that men think the color "PINK" rubs off on anything exhibiting any signs of masculinity), well I guarantee you ladies, it ain't gonna happen! Problem solved!
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